Part of fibromyalgia (along with intense pain, stomach problems and trouble sleeping) is what's known as FibroFog.
You can see the trees across the pond - sort of. You know they're there, you just can't quite make them out. You strain your eyes trying to see the details, but the fog is just too thick.
This is how FibroFog affects your mind. You know you're having thoughts, but they're clouded by the fog. It's a struggle to find details, and it can be difficult to find the right words when you haven't thought them through.
The fog is thickest in the morning. I can function physically (fairly well), but the dense fog makes it difficult to reason and communicate. It can make it seem as though I'm still sleepy or am in a foul mood, but really, I'm just having trouble processing thought.
Another sister in Christ who has fibromyalgia too once compared it to these verses of Scripture:
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. 1 Corinthians 13:9-13
Someone trying to think through FibroFog can only know in part speak in part. We see through the glass very darkly and have a difficult time making out our thoughts. But, joy of joys, there is coming a day when the fog will lift forever and we'll be able to think and see and speak with the utmost clarity. That is God's promise.
Some things I'd like you to know about FibroFog:
* It may make me a little slower to think and speak, but it doesn't make me stupid.
* It may take me an extra minute to answer or put all the words in the right order, but it doesn't mean that the words aren't there.
* It may try to take over my mind, but it won't take over my life or my motivation.
* It may complicate things and frustrate me at times, so please have patience with me.
* It may make my day, especially the mornings, much more difficult to navigate, but I will navigate them at my own pace and in my own way.
More and more people, especially women, are finally being diagnosed with fibromyalgia and finding doctors who can help them. But the FibroFog is still a personal, mysterious battle. Soon the fog will lift, though, and we'll be blessed with clear, beautiful thoughts.