How Do I Love Thee...?

The month of February warms my heart - I can prepare for Valentine's Day, Danny's spiritual birthday is the 10th and Spring is just around the corner. Love is in the air more now than ever, and the Bible says affection for your husband is both right and lovely.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness...that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands... Titus 2:3-4

There are so many ways to show your love for your husband, and much more than just on February 14th. Here are some ideas I've gathered over the years. (And knowing Danny will be reading this, I'll have to come up with some more! I love you Sweetie!)

* Hide love notes everywhere. Get some kids' valentines, make some cards or buy a big box of stationary at the dollar store. Fill them out with lots of sweet words, and then the fun begins! Hide them in his briefcase or computer bag. Tuck them into his dresser drawers. Put one in the freezer. Place another one by his toothbrush. Stuff them under pillows, set them in his car and put them by his dinner plate. In other words, let him find them everywhere he turns.

* Go big. Take a helicopter ride over your town. Fill the house with balloons, or chocolate or cards. Make reservations at that restaurant he's always wanted to try. Take a horse-drawn carriage ride to a private picnic. Be bold and extravagant once just to say "I love you."

* Stay small. Give him a fishing lure with a tag that says, "I'm hooked on you." Give him a paper clip with a tag that reads, "We're stuck together forever." Give him a donut with a tag that says, "You're the sweetest." The little things are often the most powerful and memorable.

My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies. Song of Solomon 2:16

* Listen to his off-hand comments. Has he mentioned needing something? Get him a gift certificate so he can go ahead and get it. (There are many times this is better than buying it, just to make sure he gets the right one. Never try to purchase software, tools or any big purchases without knowing your husband's buying habits REALLY well.)

* Plan an activity together. Bake cookies. Take a walk. Go grab a cup of coffee. Cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. Pick something that's completely out of the norm for you, or choose something that you used to do when you were first married and never do anymore. There's nothing more romantic than a little undivided attention.

* Do the unexpected. If you always eat out every Friday night, make reservations for somewhere new. If you always eat in front of the television, make a romantic dinner at the dining room table. If you never have, pick up your husband at work and whisk him off for a special evening. Surprises can be a great way to say, "I love you" that's completely unexpected.

And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her. Genesis 29:20

* Communicate. Daily. Often. In new and different ways. I know that my funeral director husband gets tons of e-mails every day about embalming supplies and schedules for memorial services, so I try to break up that monotony. I'll send funny pictures, links to web sites I think he'd like and romantic e-cards. We'll also find time at least once a day while he's at work to talk on the phone, even it's only for two minutes. I think that part of my responsibility to my husband is to keep in contact and uplift him as much as I can.

* Get an attitude adjustment. Do you see romance as a chore or do you think it require tons of energy and brain-power? If so, look at it another way - our job as wife is to lift up and encourage our husband. By putting romance and your marriage first, you're letting your husband know he's still the most important person in your life. Consider coming up with romantic ideas as a challenge and put the time into it you put into other important parts of your life.

* Reclaim the humor. Life can get so serious that we forget our husband actually has a sense of humor. Clip some funnies from the Sunday paper and tuck them in the book he's reading. Watch your favorite funny movie together. Catch his eye just to smile at him. Make it your personal mission to laugh more and smile more on a daily basis.

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9


  1. I love this quote by Martin Buber, for it always reminds me of my dearest love, upon whom I first clapped eyes 34 years ago this month, the sight (nay, the mere thought) of whom still makes my knees go weak:

    The abyss and the light of the world, / Time's need and the craving for eternity, / Vision, event, and poetry: / Was and is dialogue with you.


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