I remember reading once that ruining God's plan for your life is impossible because you, my dear, are not that powerful. Let that sink in for a minute.
The same truth applies to other people. We as human beings truly lack the power to change other people's hearts and minds. We're called to be a spiritual influence in the world around us, but some days we can barely handle our own actions and reactions, let alone work hard to change someone else.
Surprise plot twist: we aren't called to change other people.
God alone has the power to transform people from the inside out, while each of us are called to focus on their own actions, exercise self-control, and reflect Christ in all we do. What the people around us do with that influence is up to them.
We can clearly see in Scripture that inner transformation is solely God's work and has nothing to do with us.
The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. Proverbs 21:1 (Even powerful leaders are ultimately under God's control.)
A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26 (Hearts of flesh don't come from human beings but from God's divine intervention in someone's life.)
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2 (The encouragement to allow God to transform your own mind rather than focusing on changing others.)
Instead of attempting to change what we thinks needs changing in others, scripture shows each of us as individuals to focus on their own actions and godliness. Then He can make the changes in both us and others.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Matthew 7:3–5 (Jesus uses the analogy of a "log" in your own eye versus a "speck" in someone else's, commanding self-examination before critiquing others.)
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Galatians 6:1 (Paul advises a gentle approach when addressing someone else's sin with a reminder to guard your own heart.)
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city. Proverbs 16:32 (Solomon valued self-control over controlling others.)
While you cannot force change in others, the Bible supports setting boundaries and praying for them.
A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonition reject; Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself. Titus 3:10–11 (Believers are to distance themselves from divisive people who are unwilling to change.)
And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will. 2 Timothy 2:24–26 (Paul encourages gentle instruction and prayer for others, recognizing that repentance is a gift from God.)
In the end, I praise God that I'm not powerful enough to change other people, much as I'd like to some days.
He is the only one with the authority, power, and wisdom to know the hearts of His people.
That makes Him the perfect choice for heart-changer! What a relief that it's not us!
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